Xaviers!

Will Stanton staggered onto campus, blinking as he returned from...

Returned from...

...Well, returned from somewhere, that's for sure. Because if he wasn't here before, that means he must have been somewhere else beforehand. That's just logic and facts and whatnot. Trying to think of where he had been caused some headaches, but you know? That happens. Best not think about it.

What was important was going to talk to ASHLIE. Probably. At least, that felt important, and you've gotta do what feels important, right?

And so Will walked a bit shakily across campus, legs wobbling as he went.

Ashlie isn't hard to find. When she's not in her office she's either in Mutant Town (where he just came from and didn't spot her) or in her workshop. It's the later that he staggers and wobbles his way towards to find her hunched over a workbench, tinkering with some kind of very flat metal harness of some sort. Maybe a jetpack?

"Hey, Ashlie!" Will said, with a smile and a wobbly wave. "Burning the midday oil, I see. Felt like doing some hands-on work rather than shaping societal pressures, just as a change of pace?"

"Hello Will. Sometimes I need something familiar and predictable. Besides, I've been meaning to finish this project for a while and it'll hopefully up my productivity." she says, finishing soldering something in place before straightening up and looking at Will.

"Getting into fashion design? Very retro-80s synth chic," he smiled, wobbling a little closer towards Ashlie to take a look.

"Not quite. It's an attachment point and control module for these." she says and brings up a holographic blueprint with a couple keystrokes. It shows the top of the flat backpack attaching to the neural interface on Ashlie's lower neck while the bottom of it has two extending segmented tubes attached that each end in four mechanical fingers that freely rotate around the to of the mechanical tentacle into various configurations and unfolding to reveal a variety of tools.

"I took the liberty to improve on some existing designs. It helps when you are the governing AI and don't have to worry about cerebral corruption by the control system."

"Existing designs, huh? Not from a Dr. Octavious, perhaps? Extra artificial limbs?"

Will leaned in a bit closer, examining the blueprint.

"Not the specific design but certainly the inspiration. I miss some of my efficiency."

"Well, most human beings get by with just the two arms, but then, you've never been an underachiver," Will joked.

"You're not worried about the dangers of having a bunch of metal swinging around an actual physical body? You're not made of titanium anymore, you know."

Not that she was ever made of titanium, but...

"Not any more than I'm concerned about punching myself in the face. See that's where Dr. Octavius went wrong. Not that he could have known. Tieing the control function to normal bodily proprioception is smart, but risks neural contamination by the system controlling the arms. A problem I do not have because this body's neurons are already thoroughly contaminated by, well, me."

"Well, I'm sure there would still be a learning curve figuring out how to use them. I'd be concerned about the metal pinching things that should not be pinched, for the flesh is spongy and weak," Will joked, taking one half step closer to Ashlie.

"I appreciate the concern, but I think I'll be alright." she says with a light chuckle. "I designed the segments to overlap so you'd really have to try and get anything caught between them. And to protect the internal mechanisms from dust and dirt. It wouldn't do to have to do too much maintenance on a tool supposed to improve efficiency."

"You're strangely focused on my safety. Is everything okay?" she asks, turning back towards Will.

"I came from the bakery. Health inspection today," Will explained. "I was in charge of making sure that everything was, y'know. Up to code and whatnot. First and foremost; top of mind"

Will's eyes glazed over for just a fraction of a second, as he reached out and, one finger transforming into a thin steel needle, pricked the back of Ashlie's hand.

"Safety-minded, that makes s--ouch!" she says, more startled than in pain, really. "What was that? Are you trying to prove a point?"

"What was t..." Will said, his eyes glazing over for a second.

"Yeah, safety-minded. I mean, I'll be honest, I don't exactly follow most of the standard safety regulations the government lays down, because they're intended for, y'know, monoforms? No one who's supposed to be going into my kitchen is going to get hurt by things, but rules are rules, even if they're not intended for people like us, right?" he continued, as if nothing had happened.

"They are..." she says but is clearly focused on having been stabbed by a needle. She grabs his hand by the wrist and holds his hand up. "You're acting stranger than usual."

"That's a fairly bold claim," Will joked. "You have some stats to back that up?"

"With one notable exception, you've never tried to hurt me. Much less casually. Is this some kind of test of my biology?"

"Hurt you? No, no, I wasn't doing that all, I was just..."

And then he started giggling. "I was just...nnnf...just...ffft....just..." he repeated, trying to stop himself from a serious case of the giggles, and failing. "it's just tha...snnnkt...just, you know...pffffshh....just..."

"You're saying you did not just stick me with this needle?" she says, moving Will's hand more into his field of vision. "Is this a prank? Am I being pranked?"

"N...no," Will giggled, trying to keep a straight face and failing. "Th...that's not what I'm s...not what I mean that I"m say...it's just that..."

And then he fell over backwards, as his head twisted and deformed as it shifted, being replaced by a bucket with a crudely drawn face on it and a dyed-green mop cloth draped on top for 'hair'.

"I swear, if I check Tik Tok for hashtag mopping and find some inane trend..." she mutters but does kneel down to make sure Will is, in fact, okay.

Whether Will was 'alright' or not was rather difficult to detect -- the boy didn't exactly need normal vital signs at the best of times, and who knows what the 'correct' status for a man with a bucket for a head would be?

The bucket was about half-full with sudsy water; some of it having splashed out onto Ashlie's nice clean workshop floor when Will had tumbled backwards. The face on the bucket was crudely drawn in with crayon -- very childish, with a tongue sticking out and spirals for eyes and all that nonsense.

...He was probably fine.

It was probably fine for Will to lose some of the soapy water but she still makes sure to keep his bucket upright to not spill any more. At the very least it'll keep more water from being spilled on her workshop floor.

"Can you talk?" she asks as she tries to help him to his feet.

Leaving the bucket on the floor as Ashlie right Will's body was...odd, surely, but he didn't appear to be suffering any ill effects.

"Mmph. Mmph mmmmpph," Will said through his drawn-on closed mouth. Or...well, technically no. The sound was coming from the water inside the pail bubbling and frothing.

"Of course the bucket-head comes off. Why wouldn't it..." she mutters. "I can't understand what you're saying. Presumably because your head is full of soap water. Here, one moment."

She goes to fetch the aquatic probe she'd used to monitor the strange portal. Amon other things it has an underwater microphone that might help pick up what Will is trying to say. Despite the urge to let the probe drop into the bucket from a couple feet up she kneels down to gently lower it into the water. It'd just make more of a mess anyway.

"Try now."

A good scientist, of course, makes a hypothesis, and then tests it. Basic scientific method.

The hypothesis here is that the soapy water was making it impossible for Ashlie to understand Will, with the sound having to travel through the churning medium before reaching the air. It was logical, then, that a microphone placed under the surface of the water would amplify the voice to the point where she could hear it.

Unfortunately, the reality of scientific testing often brings with it disappointing results. Placing the probe underneath the water did amplify the sound from the water, but still, nothing could be made out. "Mmmf! Mmmph mmmph mmmmph mmf mmmf mmph," Will said, eloquently.

"Really, Will? Really?" she sighs and goes to find another bucket.

Upon returning she proceeds to pour the water out of the face-bucket and into the regular one.

"How about now?"

And now? Silence. No sound from the bucket with Will's face drawn on it. No sound from the bucket full of water.

Honestly, that might be an improvement, depending on your mood.

"I sincerely hope this doesn't work." she says as se pulls out a marker and scribbles two eyes and a mouth on the new bucket.

Some trial and error continued, as Ashlie iterated through the scientific method. Some tests indicated that:

• The water in a new bucket appeared to act as just water, with no discernable motion or sound.
• The Will-bucket, with no water in it, also stopped making any sort of sound.
• Refilling the Will-bucket to different levels of water altered the volume of the burbling, but didn't make the voice clearer.
• F'n Will, man, I swear.

Finally, perhaps more out of exasperation than anything else, Ashlie erased the mouth from the Will-bucket and redrew it, open.


"Ahh, much better," Will said, the burbling and frothing of the water producing the 'voice'. "Was getting a little sticky, that."

"I hope you realize how absurd this is. You made the bucket with a closed mouth to begin with!"

"Well, that's how it was supposed to be," Will blurbled in protest. "You don't just go around changing things all willy-nilly."

"Said the shapeshifter. I'll be honest, it's hard for me to tell if you're having trouble or if you just... turn your head into a muted mob bucket to avoid a topic sometimes."

"I like to think I could be more creative than that at avoiding a topic," Will joked.

"So something is wrong? Maybe you should head back to your 'source' and... I don't actually know if that could diagnose or reset you."

"I don't think anything's wrong," Will burbled. "It just felt....it felt like..." he trailed off.

"I'm sorry, where were we again? My mind's all over the place today."

"Like you're losing your train of thought mid-sentence, apparently. I'd tell you to go to the infirmary but while they are obviously equipped to deal with mutants, your biology is uniquely extreme..."

"They're not big fans of me down there. For people of science, they sure have a lot of biologically dubious suggestions on what I can go do with myself if I waste more of their time."

"That's what I figured, but I'll make it happen if you think something is wrong."