[Plot] That Boy Ain't Quite Right. No, More Than Usual

[Will Stanton]

"Why would anything be wrong?" Will blurbled. "I'm doing just fine. I was just saying, if I was avoiding a topic, I'd be a little less obvious about it, don't you think? I can be subtle if I wanted to."

[Ashlie Minamida]

Ashlie narrows her eyes slightly and maybe if she was less busy she might take the time to chase down what, if anything, is happening. But on the scale of Will Problems this one seems benign. Hell, perhaps the shifter too is tired. He is running dozens if not hundreds of himself all over the place and who knows how that compounds.

"Alright, just... get some sleep maybe. If you even still do?"

[Will Stanton]

"Sometimes," Will acknowledged. "It can be nice to sleep. As a change of pace. I mostly just...kind of reintegrate and rest that way, usually, though."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"A repository of sleep, so to speak. I'm almost jealous."

[Will Stanton]

"It's different," Will demurred. "Sleep is it's own experience. Dreaming is wonderful. That's not exactly what being in the cauldron is like."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"It's a conscious amalgam in there?"

[Will Stanton]

"I'm not sure words can really describe what it is. It's..." he trailed off, the burbling in the bucket still churning for a moment.

"It's not consciousness in the way you or I would describe it. And it's not an amalgam, because there's only one of me. And yet..."

[Ashlie Minamida]

Ashlie nods. "More of a feeling then? I don't mean to interrogate you on this. I'm just curious. Having a sub-conscious mind, even one focused on a lot of backend maintenance, is still something I'm getting used to."

[Will Stanton]

"I'm not sure it's something that can really be explained," Will bubbled. "As far as I can tell, it's kind of a unique experience.

There's kind of a...sensation, I guess you'd say. A feeling, sure. When you enter, and you start feeling yourself slip away, it's a sense that things are going to be alright; that you're...coming home, I guess, for lack of a better word. That you can just sort of...let go, and things will be taken care of."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"It almost sounds like you've managed to find your own Nirvana."

[Will Stanton]

"Warm and snuggy in my heart-shaped box," Will burble-laughed.

[Ashlie Minamida]

"You know, I was privy to the effort and process involved but it still seems almost casual for such monumental personal peace."

[Will Stanton]

"What do you mean?" Will asked. He would have cocked his head, but that would have sent all the water pouring out, wouldn't it?

[Ashlie Minamida]

"It just seems like something people dedicate their life to finding. Then again, considering your age I suppose you did just that."

[Will Stanton]

"Are you suggesting I've had it too easy?" Will joked. "Think I need to walk a few thousand more miles before finding home?"

[Ashlie Minamida]

The Ashlie Will met not too long ago would have probably objected and launched into a long-winded explanation trying to clarify. Instead the corner of her mouth tugs into a slight smile.

"What's another billion years in the grand scheme of things."

[Will Stanton]

"Well, if Sam and company are right, I've been multitasking the billions and billions..." Will burbled.

[Ashlie Minamida]

"What do you mean?"

[Will Stanton]

"They think that Wyldclay fellow? That it's me. A version of me, split off when I went through the black hole. So that would be another untold amount of time, drifting through nothingness. I don't know how you count years when you're experiencing them simultaneously."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"I've been imperfectly forked and merged but I'm not sure my way of processing memories is particularly representative..."

"You don't sound particularly convinced that this is the case. Or at least apprehensive about the possibility..."

[Will Stanton]

"Well, he's...kind of an asshole," Will chuckle-laughed. "And he wasn't exactly what I'd call a...friendly host. Not fit for proper company. Kind of...daunting to think that that might be part of me. Or is supposed to be part of me.

And then there's the implication..."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"That there are more out there. That this isn't 'all' of you."

"I'd tell you to talk to a psychologist about this but I doubt there are many who'd be knowledgeable about this kind of thing. You and me are in the unique positions that we're able to be... selective about the kind of memories and experience we allow to inform who we are. Maybe the Wyldclay is a particularly, well, wild deviation or maybe there are universes that have changed you even more. If they stem from the same core that is Will Stanton I would imagine that you would feel different about them once you have their full perspectives, but as to how much that would change who you are right now I cannot say."

[Will Stanton]

"There's also the worry that, well, whatever got shed from me is stuff that was shed for a reason, you know? I don't...recall quite everything. But when I sealed myself in the box, in my mind, I sealed what was important away. What if anything else is...detritus. Malware and bloatware. Better off without it?"

[Ashlie Minamida]

"Or it is what you didn't have time to save and has been lost and adrift all this time. It's hard to judge yourself fairly under the best circumstances, but you have a family that loved you before you maybe shed the worse parts of yourself. And look at it like this... If I had told you a year ago that I was planning to excise the worst parts of me. Say my tendency to assume my deductions and interpretations are correct and to speak with authority regardless of others. The kind of thing that gets your face obliterated by an anvil. Wouldn't you have told me that it doesn't work that way? That I wouldn't really understand it if I tried to shortcut personal growth?"

[Will Stanton]

"I think I would have offered to hit you in the face with an anvil a few more times," Will joked.

"I get your point, but I think there is a difference between removing something part of you, and adding something, you know? And you would, in theory, know what you're getting into by removing something you already had..."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"It's not the same, no. What's done is done and welcoming those parts of you back wouldn't undo it anyway."

"There are no right answers here, much as I dislike that notion. Are you even the 'main' consciousness at play? Or simply the one even able to reintegrate in the first place? I don't think you're incomplete as you are and neither do I necessarily believe those other parts of you would be detrimental or worthless."

[Will Stanton]

"Well, I kind of feel like I'm the main consciousness, though I suppose everyone would say the same thing."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"And therein lies the issue, doesn't it? And your mind is much less... distinctly separated. They might well have many of the same parts of 'Will' that you do. And from personal experience I can tell you this much, they would all consider themselves the 'real' one on some level. And if you deny that it'll get ugly. Point a gravity-cannon at your own processing core ugly."

[Will Stanton]

"I'm told by reliable sources that I'm very handsome," said the man with a bucket instead of a head. His body crossed it's arms, in...agreement? Sure, let's go with that.

[Ashlie Minamida]

"You have the entirety of biological and inorganic aesthetics at your disposal and you currently chose 'face drawn on bucket'. You're going to have to reckon with the fact there is no accounting for taste. Case in point, the Miami Vice reject you brought back."

[Will Stanton]

"...I dunno, I kind of like the white suit look. The hair needs work, though," Will admitted.

[Ashlie Minamida]

"Common ground already." she smiles slightly.

[Will Stanton]

"Yeah, well, spend enough time with them and you, uh, learn some things about them. A rather...shocking reintegration, that one was; Miriam and Sam returned the me that was taken pretty much immediately.

I can only imagine the culture shock when you melt that one in, too."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"If he's you and you gain all he's been through I don't think it'll be a shock at all. I think it'll make perfect sense."

[Will Stanton]

"Well, what if I..." Will stopped, pausing, and tapping his foot.

"OK, I don't know computers, so this isn't a perfect analogy, but...if I wrote another AI, and merged it with your programming? Two different minds, running on the same 'hardware'. And I made it something...anathema to you. Like, programmed with a different set of core principles. Sentinal programming or something. Sure, the new 'you' might think your new existence makes perfect sense and isn't a shock, but the old 'you' might protest if it still had the ability to do so."

[Ashlie Minamida]

Ashlie nods. "You're right. And if it was severe enough of a dichotomy it may cause other issues."

"But you're a good person and biological minds aren't as neatly divided. Even if you ejected a bunch of bad parts, I don't believe that you'd be entirely rid of them or that they wouldn't have remnants of what makes you you. Given infinite possibilities? Yes, some of them may be beyond tolerable - we all have the potential to be awful - but I would be shocked if that was a significant amount. Or if the Wyldclay was one of them."

[Will Stanton]

"I suppose that depends partially on what you define as 'awful'. The Wyldclay is...they are....they...

Well, they're not everyone's cup of tea," he finally said, diplomatically.

[Ashlie Minamida]

"Morally reprehensible. Cruel. I understand this is largely up to personal interpretation and causes no shortage of issues but for everything they caused, I can't fault them for trying to seek their freedom. From where I stand Xaviers has welcomed much worse, generally for the better."

[Will Stanton]

"Yes, well, it's not your head," said the bucket.

"I'm sure it will be fine in the long run, it's just...this feels like it's gonna be a New Thing."

[Ashlie Minamida]

"It does seem like a big step and I certainly don't mean to sway or rush you."